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Monday 17 August 2015

ON PONDERING THE VARIOUS, MYSTERIOUS
AND GLORIOUS SECRETS TO A JOYOUS LIFE

(The ultimate questions we ask of Life answered by the Lady, personified.)

I ran into Life
At some social fling
And asked of her a thing
Or two that have been
Bewildering me
And probably irritate
The scuzz out of you too.

WHY
I asked with my best smile,
Do I always end up
In the slow moving lane,
But am the first in line
When you dole out pain?

WHY
Do I fight so constantly
To retain in my hands
Every scrap of meaning,
Only to watch it all drain
Away, another love in vain?

WHY
Though I apply every iota
Of ability and mental agility
To earn me a living
I am barely making it
to "bare-ass poverty"

WHY
Are honesty, integrity and kindness
Not on the list
Of things to acquire
"a must have for success"
Draw up by you Highness?

WHY,
(oh WHY)
When I try the Forward Fandango
Do I end up doing the Crab Tango
Two steps sideways,
One hundred more backwards?

I especially want to know , Madam:
WHY,
Since I went from a lady-like drawl
To a deranged screech,
You sit cool as a cucumber
And your lips don't twitch?

I beg for an answer
I plead and beseech
And still you refuse
To answer or teach
The secret to you.
Anything besides
Old Murphy's Law
Would do...

Please? Would you?
WHAT? NO ANSWER?

Well, get outta my sight
Afore I rip off your tits;
EAT SHIT AND DIE
YOU BOTOXED BITCH!


Manuela Cardiga

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